[Tymar holds a microphone, hosting the "Tymar!" talk show]

Tymar: Welcome back! Our guest today is an ettin, or rather two ettins! They used to be one Ettin, but opted for radical ettin separation surgery.

[An Ettin, sliced neatly down the middle, sits in two separate chairs.]

Ettin Left Half: I think I always knew that I was two monsters trapped in the body of one monster. It was hard for me to tell myself that, but I was very supportive.

Ettin Right Half: It was...difficult to hear myself say I didn't want to be with me anymore. But I love myself and want me to be happy. I have to admit, though, there will always be a part of me that misses the other part of me.

Tymar: Yeah ok emotions whoo. Who got the donger?

Ettin Left Half: What? What the hell kind of question is that?

Tymar: AWESOME the hell!

Ettin Left Half: We each got one? What do you think?

Tymar: Ettins have TWO DONGERS?

Ettin Left Half: Humans only have one?